it's eleven p.m.

 Hi, it is rare for me to be awake at this time and be writing like this. Usually I'll just go through my phone (not a book person hehe) and go to sleep. I know it is unhealthy and everyone's doing it, so I will improve my habits from time to time. 

you know, that feeling of seeing your peers getting good results, enrolling to ivy schools, having a great time at their uni and just.. the smile on their face. I'm actually proud of them and I do acknowledge their excellencies, they just deserve it! Alhamdulillah, barakallah. 

somehow, deep inside I feel kind of, just a liiiiitle bit of miserable (hmm but no so much, okay?) it is my fault for not being good in school. idk. kind of feeling like a... loser maybe? 

nevertheless, I am amazingly grateful for where I stand today. I love my course that I'm taking :)) sometimes it's hard but oh well, if it's not hard then it is not called the dunya. 

if you're having a hard time during this pandemic, odl, work from home, being a housewife with kids and yeah to all of us, please know that:

Allah swt turunkan setiap ujian yang di dalamnya penuh dengan hikmah dan kebaikan, mungkin kebaikan itu kita tak dapat melihatnya, tetapi yakinlah, tetap yakin dengan kekuasaan dan kebesaran Ilahi. Allah swt itu Maha Baik, Maha Melihat akan keadaan setiap hamba-hambaNya. Serahlah segala lelahmu, kecewamu, resahmu, bebanmu pada Dia yang Satu. 

we are stronger than we think .